Norma Mc’s Story

Under any and all conditions

I was born in Vancouver, and we moved to South Surrey when I was eight. I was the oldest of three and the only girl. Some how I had decided my parents were alcoholics. We were given wine occasionally on a special occasion. As an adolescent I smoked, drank and did other things to try and fit in. I was so incredibly unhappy, lashing out at the world. Spent a couple nights in Cloverdale jail was in foster care at around fourteen.

As a young adult I really didn’t drink much. I did not want to be an alcoholic like my parents, so I sat in my misery and self pity. My son was born a month before I turned twenty. As much as I loved him, I was still unhappy wallowing in self pity. My drinking took off in my mid-twenties, desperately trying to find some relief from the pain of being me. Things spiraled out of control very quickly.

Having only a high school education I did what I had to do to support us. The world of exotic dancing was filled with booze, drugs, creepy people and scary situations. I absolutely hated myself during this time. Looking at my reflection made me feel sick, I hurt so very bad.

I ended up in some really bad places: there were times when I didn’t know where I was or who I was with. The worst thing is I brought my son with me. There were some horrific things that happened, assault of every kind, near death experiences, food insecurity. One time I was so far gone I lay down to sleep in a grocery store parking lot.

I knew of A.A. since 1978 I worked near the Calgary Alano club. I even went there a couple times, maybe I could help these pitiful alcoholics. By the early nineties I was in pretty rough shape. I had stopped drugs about a year before, but I needed the alcohol, I made a few attempts to stop with and without A.A. I couldn’t string more than 45 days together.

January 14th, 1994, I took my last drink and went to a meeting the next night. The woman who was supposed to meet me there never showed up. I met a woman who would become my sponsor. She told me to call her every day, and I was finally ready to go to any lengths, Thank God!

The first couple of years I went to lots of meetings all over the lower mainland. At the time there was only one Central Office that served Squamish to White Rock to Hope. We were fortunate here; there was a good number of meetings and a couple of clubs. I was told to stay out of relationships for a year. So, at exactly one month I found a guy. No dating, in a relationship on day one. Men who get into relationships with newly sober women are rarely capable of a having a healthy relationship. After six months after being dumped, again I was in so much pain somehow I knew I couldn’t drink so the only other solution was to kill myself. My sponsor and her partner saved my life that night. When I was over a year sober I started dating the man I fell in love with. We learned together with the help of A.A. how to have a healthy relationship. I still encourage my sponsees to wait until they are happy within themselves before getting into a relationship. In about 1996 I got a resentment at my home group and quit. I really needed meetings. One Saturday night I went to a meeting in Cloverdale, it was a small meeting, and it felt like home. I’ve been there ever since.

In the nineties there were lots of roundups and dances and we were busy all the time. Most meetings were at nine pm. Afterward we’d all go to a restaurant and share fellowship, laugh, talk about life and recovery.

In 2002 Wayne H. and Frank W. got a group of people together and opened the Langley Intergroup office of Alcoholics Anonymous. Until then I had no idea there was more to service than washing cups and ashtrays at meetings and keeping your homegroup open. I still believe that service starts at your home group. I got a shift at the office and at the time there was always two people per shift. Usually, my friend Joe W. worked with me. Man did we have some amazing meetings together, we talked about everything, learned together how to live life on life’s terms. I am so very grateful to have had that time with Joe, I cherish those memories.

I did a couple of rotations as GSR and served on a committee for a women’s retreat for 10 years. I’ve been on panels, helped with AA events, talked at schools and recovery centers. I’ve discovered God has a sense of humor, during Covid I was really struggling, so he gave me 3 new sponsees. I cannot tell you how much those women helped me. There was a parking lot meeting five minutes from home. There I found a group of women who gave me so much support and strength. One of the zoom meetings that started is still going today, helped a lot of women.

I’ve had other struggles since getting sober. My health issues, my partners health issues. Navigating a disability, the death of my partners parents, then mine. In 2018 we lost our only grandson. We were beyond devastated. The people in our support system held us up, we certainly couldn’t do it our selves. Thanks to AA and God we were able to be there to support my stepdaughter and other grandchildren. Our Great-Grandchildren helped us smile.

All the things that have happened have taught me that you can stay sober under any and all conditions. Supporting others helped me be grateful for my life. Alcoholics Anonymous, the people in it and my family have helped shape the person I am today and funny enough – I like her.

Norma Mc.